A recent survey showed that 96.4% of mums of new babies and children under 18 worry about what will happen to their children if they suddenly die.
It’s the one thing that you never want to think about but you always seem to worry about, according to our recent survey almost every mum that we asked said they worried often about what would happen to their children if they died.
Without beating around the bush, this is what you can do if you suddenly died…. nothing.
If you died right now, there isn’t really anything you can do, Don’t beat yourself up about it, you’d already be dead as it is! It happens to us all!
“So what can I do to make sure my kids are ok if I suddenly die?”
Depending on your children’s ages, there are a few different things that you can do to prepare them for if an emergency happens. Below is an age appropriate guide to let you know what steps you can take to make sure your children would be ok if you suddenly did pass.
Babies to Under 5’s:
A child under 5 is irrational and unpredictable at the best of times. They generally have no idea about what death is, or the reality of such. The good news is, if you suddenly died and your child was this age, they are most likely not going to remember much about it. They won’t be scarred for life. Sure, they will be missing a vital person in their lives, but they will be able to move past your death easier due to lack of understanding.
In this case, you can prepare by having a buddy system, which is recommended for anyone who has dependants-you could set this up with another mother who lives nearby or a family member-you check in with each other at a similar time every day . It may feel weird contacting someone to check if they’re dead but then this also ensures that if the worst did happens someone would know to check on your kids and help in an awful situation.
Children aged over 5:
Teach your child how to use a phone & charger, and have the first phone number in your contacts list be a number for them to call in an emergency. In my phone, we have set emergency contacts such as next of kins and parents with a photo of them, so they know who they are calling if they can’t read yet.
Who would get the kids?
If only one parent dies, and the other parent still has parental responsibility, the law usually says that your child would live with them.
If your child’s other parent is estranged, they would likely be put with the closest family member to you by social services. The next group of people to ask would be your child’s god parents, your close friends and even sometimes neighbours before the government would decide to put your child into foster care.
Writing a will
This is one of those things that we all put off…but if you don’t get it done in time .your children’s custody could be compromised, or your assets could be in the air for years, leaving a period of instability for your children. There’s no real shortcut I would recommend, just as I wouldn’t for newborn photography, you want legit, safe and reliable when it comes to your children, find a local solicitor who makes wills and get it done. You will sleep easier, and your family and children will be glad you did it should the worst happen.
How will they remember you?
Something many of my clients have said is that they don’t have enough photographs with their children that aren’t selfies. Most of my clients are now subscribing to either seasonly or yearly portrait sessions with their children and families (which we store high resolution digital copies of indefinitely, you can put your gallery links in your will also to ensure your family has a copy of all of your family photos taken by us. You can also arrange for us to produce a posthumous slideshow video of your life highlights which could be a beautiful parting gift to your family from you.
Whatever you believe happens after you die, your family will always be so grateful for your existence. The bringer of life. Mamma, you are a goddess.
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